"Bryan" to Austin and Jeff

Pastor and Jeff,

My family and I love Vision Baptist Church. We have been members of the church since 2009. We love having a church that proclaims that it is committed to preaching the whole of Scripture and spreading the Gospel throughout the whole world. We have been members of the board since 2012 and right now, have no intention on leaving.

But not only have we been members of the board, we have also been what has been in the past known as “team” since around 2010 I believe. We typically call ourselves a family, but this phrase is far from the truth as I will show.

I want to be clear, we want to see the board thrive. We want to see the world reached with the Gospel. But we believe there are sinful attitudes that have led to sinful actions on the part of leadership and in turn, the whole culture of the board is a very toxic one. We want to see positive, biblical and gospel-centered change take place that we as a board can more effectively minister.

According to the church website., “Vision Baptist Missions is a local church ministry of Vision Baptist Church in Alpharetta, Georgia...”. I believe this statement to be at best misleading; at worst, completely false. The church has very little to no idea what actually happens in the board. It operates separately from the actual church and the church is not informed unless something has to be made public and even then, the whole truth is not usually given. I am not talking in the small operations and decisions that have to be made, but the bigger picture things.

Here are a few issues that I don’t believe the church has been notified in whole about:

• Our issues in China with the Tolson family in 2016
• ____ resignation letter
• ____ Resignation letter
• ____ resignation letter

The board lives in secrecy. Without this secrecy, the board could not operate as it has. But what I will show, is that this secrecy is indicative of something much deeper and affects many.

Concerns

I do have a few concerns when it comes to this whole process because, as I said, I have been around and in the “team” and the board for some time so I have seen how people who try to confront these issues are treated. Most criticism towards anyone who brings accusations tends to end in ad hominem or straw man attacks, in other words, the problem is me not the issues that I bring up or the problem is that I... “am a Calvinist”, “Just want to be lazy”, etc.

With that being said, here is what I think could be said or will be said about me and how it is not true:

“I’m bitter and unforgiving”

This may come up because I did mention the problems we had in China with the Tolsons. I will be more than willing to discuss those things, but for the sake of the entire length of all this; I do not plan to do this.

I hope it will suffice to say we are not bitter. And as for unforgiving, forgiveness admits to the size and scope of the wrong that was done. It does not minimize it. And to simplify it as it so often is to “just get over it” and numerous phrases about just moving on; it ignores other plain Scriptures that tell us to call out sin when it is sin.

Overall though, bitter people want the worst for others. I do not. I want us to grow as a church and a board. I want us to model Christ. I already said that I do not want to tear all this apart. I want repentance and restoration. And I assure you, I am not the only one.

“I have a problem with leadership and following leadership”

This, again, will go back to what happened in Dalian and possibly Harbin. I believe I will be portrayed as someone who would not listen, and would not follow.

Even if this were the case, I am not the only one and it does not negate what I am saying. This is very much an ad hominem attack that is trying to deflect the issue. These issues come up again and again and again, and sadly, without change.

“I have become isolated and not talking to anyone except disgruntled people who left”

I have spoken with those who have resigned. Of all of them, __ is probably who I was closest to before all this. But the truth is, when we returned, I tried to get back to being “in” with the board. But the more I saw, the more concerns that I already had personally made me back off. I would also say, I have had these concerns before I talked to anyone about them. This is the same case with __, _**_ and **_****. These three families did not really have any relationship beforehand, they did not talk till until after they had made their decisions and saw similar problems.

To put it simply, the fact is that those who have recently resigned and ourselves did not speak of any of these things until recently. And we all had very similar concerns.

“I’m sorry we aren’t perfect”

This is often said when someone brings up the sin that is present in the board. We aren’t talking here about small disagreements in trivial matters. We are talking about systematic patterns of sin that continue week in and week out. Sin that has been addressed over and over and over, with no change. Sin that cannot be addressed because to do so, you are the problem.

No we aren’t “just working through all these things” like a house that is getting built and is messy. These are well-established and well-known sins.

“You should have called and talked”

This does not in any way detract from what is said. And given the history I have seen and know, I do not think it would be helpful. The truth is, I would only read everything I am writing here anyways.

Scriptural foundation

Many times when we think of pastoral sin there are really only two kinds brought up: sexual and financial. These two things are what we often see called out and are brought up at various times mainly because they will outright disqualify someone. However, one pastoral sin that is often not brought up is the that of abusive/bullying-type behavior. I have heard of people saying, “He isn’t stealing anything and he isn’t having an affair so it’s not a problem.” This is the equivalent of saying “Yes, he abuses his wife emotionally and verbally, but he isn’t having an affair and isn’t doing any illegal activity. And he doesn’t hit her.”

Titus 1:7–8: For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

The word striker in this verse doesn’t just have the meaning that the pastor shouldn’t be someone who hits people. It has the idea of being a bully. Someone who uses force (and I would add, manipulation) And to get his own way.

This is not something made-up. In recent years, there have been several instances of pastors being removed for abusive leadership, intimidation and bullying. Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle was one of the first. Steve Timmis who was CEO of Acts 29 which is a church-planting organization was also removed from leadership for this. In more recent days, Jerry Falwell Jr. was removed. The main reasoning was sexual misconduct. However, even before that, it is reported there were concerns with bullying, abusive leadership and intimidation.

This kind of behavior is enough of a concern that it is brought up. No, I am not a “sissy millennial” who got my feelings hurt. There is no Biblical excuse that can justify the type of behavior and speech that happens. These aren’t slip-ups, or misspeaks because “he talks so much”. Again, This isn’t us “getting our feelings hurt” or “misunderstanding what is being said”. These are purposeful and deliberate statements. This is wrong and both __ and I know we aren’t alone in the board in knowing this. The Bible has high standards for leadership within a church and as of right not, that standard is not being met. I hope this can change. I am not looking for removal of leadership. I hope for repentance and change in this.

I know a letter isn’t the best way to express our tone here so I want to be clear. These things are not things that make us angry, they make us weep. They do not make us bitter, they make us lament and grieve. As Paul observed with Peter in Galatians 2:14, we as a board also are not walking “uprightly according to the truth in the Gospel”.

First, I want to take the time to walk through some Scriptures to show what leadership is to be and not be.

1. First Timothy 3:3

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

Once again, we come back to that word striker. In contrast, to being a bully, the pastor is to be patient. This means kind, gentle, courteous.

2. First Peter 5:3

Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock

Again, this passage is referring to pastors. It tells us that pastors are not to be “lords over God’s heritage”. In other words, a pastor should not be domineering.

3. Matthew 20:25–27 

But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:

This passage is Jesus talking to His disciples. He tells them that it is princes of the Gentiles who lord over and domineer others. But that is not to be the case with us as believers. We are to be servants.

4. Second Timothy 2:24

And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient

The servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (engaging in heated disputes). But gentle.

In summary, qualified leaders should be characterized as follows:

• Not a bully, but gentle
• Not domineering, but setting an example.
• Not lording it over, but being a servant.
• Not quarrelsome, but kind

As you look at the pattern of leadership at our board, it becomes abundantly clear that the negative aspects in these passages are not modeled. Bullying, domineering, lording over others, quarreling are the norm at Vision Baptist Missions.

The following sinful behaviors truly exemplify all this.

Sinful behaviors

Double-tongued

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

Doubletongued is an interesting word here. We may not use it but it basically means to talk out of both sides of your mouth. Of course, this requirement here is for the deacons. However, it should be noted that typically, the requirement for a pastor is higher than that of a deacon. Sadly, leadership is very well known to be doubletongued.

You will say one thing one week. Then the complete opposite the next. Just a few months ago, we had an entire Friday class about how our kids were the absolute worst and a bunch of brats. One week later, you told us how missionary kids were all so wonderful. One week, you tell us when we count our hours to count church time as work time since we are working. Then the next week you say you should never count church time as work time because church people don’t get to do that.

This is issue is probably why we have wrestled so long on what to do here. Because the fact of the matter is you speak so frequently and so much that you often contradict yourself. So I or others can say you said this or that and then you say, but over here, I said this.

I think one of the best examples I have was from both of you. In 2014, it was pretty well speculated and talked about how XXXXX XXXX XXX XXXXX, was very negative, and harsh. During our flights back to the States, at both layovers; we (Pastor, Mrs. Betty and I) discussed how to handle working under the Tolsons. We were told that it would be hard and just to stay busy, keep our heads down and count down the days till we left.

In 2015, Jeff and Mindy visited China. After his return, we had a meeting at Starbucks and the meeting was about getting along with the Tolsons. I was advised again to stay busy, to keep my head down and to count down the days till we left.

In December 2016, when you both came to Dalian to “fix” our issues. We told you this in the meeting, but it got completely dismissed and ignored. We were and have been since accused of not submitting to authority, despite the fact that we tried to submit to authority by doing what you told us to do.

It is often advised that a wife should never use sex as a tool to get what she wants in marriage. Then it is said that a wife should reward her husband with sex when he does right according to her. Which one is it?

We are told that by being Vision Baptist Missionaries that we are the “elite” and the “green beret of missions”. Then we are told that if you tell someone we are the best mission board and better than everyone else that we are idiots.

You will praise a missionary or a pastor behind the pulpit. Then mock or insult them the next day in class.

Gossip, slander and insults

First Corinthians 5:11 tells us that being a railer is condition for church discipline. A railer is “one who scoffs, insults, censures or reproaches with opprobrious [insulting or contemptuous] language.”. This is exactly the kind of language that is spoken in Friday class, missionary meetings and retreats.

Other pastors and missionaries are called stupid and dumb. They will be spoken well of behind the pulpit in church, but then in a private meeting, insulted and talked about for decisions they make. These decisions are not scriptural things. They are not given to teach a lesson. They are often used to fuel pride. (i.e. XXXXXXX came to Vision on a Thursday night. He was about to make a 2 month trip around the US. According to you, you listened and nodded. The next day in a missionary meeting you implied how much a waste of life it was for this man to do that because it was so much better to serve God how we were than this pastor was. Again, missionaries are spoken well of in church then in class will be insulted for not being there.)

This one will spill over into the next portion. ___ has been repeatedly slandered in meetings for “taking 10 months of support and not doing anything”. First of all, he was delayed returning to the States due to COVID.  Secondly, during that time when he was still in London, he was still doing ministry. In the end, he asked for, and it was granted, that support would continue for 3 months while he transitioned out of ministry.

None of that is mentioned when he is slandered by saying he wasn’t doing anything for 10 months. This is also the case when Jeff off-handedly says that Ed’s problem was that he got too close to Beth’s “liberal” family. Our story is frequently distorted as a point. But we aren’t the only ones, facts are left out to “prove” a point. Typically that point is to show how you were the hero (as in the case of the story you told about us in Friday class about me not making it to a meeting to show how loyal you are to us) or how bad a missionary family was (Our time in Dalian). People are torn down and “built” up.

Each and every week it seems, men and women on and off the board are slandered. Yes, slandered. Stories are twisted to “prove” points. Those of us who know the whole truth know this.  The Bible clearly says not to bear false witness (Exodus 20:16); not to speak evil [slander is the meaning of the word] of our brother (James 4:11); and we are told as servants to not bully (again, KJV word is strive but same meaning) but be gentle (2 Timothy 2:24). But this is not the case from Friday class to Friday class, missionary meeting to missionary meeting.

[Since we left, we have been told that we resigned because we wanted Austin to resign, and he didn't. Jeff told pastors Ed and Beth left because they supported the Black Lives Matter organization. Austin said that __ was a Calvinist, and he tried to help him, but he would not recant. Leadership spins story after story to make VBM the good guys and everyone else the bad guys. I have had conversations with two pastors who have shared similar false details about our timeline in returning to the States and what was going on with us. These two pastors called Jeff and were told that we returned before COVID. This lead these pastors to believe a false narrative that we simply returned from China for other reasons and not because of the pandemic which cast us in a bad light. If I believed this to be an honest mistake, I would not mention it, but both of these pastors do not know each other and both told me similar incorrect timelines or our return. Their only common denominator was that they had spoken with Jeff. According to a current missionary at VBM, the reason why Austin Cook was no longer at the Training Center was that, “Robert brought up that doctrinal discussion in a TC class and that you (Austin Cook) stood up and yelled that he was only bringing up that subject because he knew you (Austin Cook) disagreed with him and then you (Austin Cook) stormed out and never came back.” This is not the true story but this is another example of how false narratives are used to cast the ones that leave in a bad light to make VBM appear to be the “good guys” to everyone who is still there.

Even now, missionaries are throwing insults at anyone who points out spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is "a term people created that haven't ever had a drill sergeant get in their face and tell them how pathetic they are and what Jody is doing with his girlfriend back home," according to one VBM missionary just a few weeks ago. In the COVID season, when the men of VBC were trying to make wise decisions, one missionary asked, "when did most of the men of God become panty-waisted, milk-toast federal government shills?”. This question was in direct reference about the men of Vision Baptist Church. I say these not because each situation needs to be addressed but to help show the board's culture. These missionaries feel confident to be able to share amongst themselves these type of outlandish, ungodly and corrupt statements. It is almost as though the angrier and baser the comment is, the more praise you are trying to receive because that is how Austin Gardner communicates in classes and meetings. The goal in doing this is not to be like Jesus, but like Austin Gardner.

To show that this is the culture of not just AG but the board as well, I want to mention another story. One family left the church because of the lopsided emphasis on missions at VBC. The daughter wrote Austin a letter about that very subject. Robert Canfield then went that week into one of the training center classes and openly mocked her letter to the students in class.]

Favoritism/partiality

James 2:1 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons

We are commanded to be impartial because God himself is impartial. This is not the case with the board. Often, sins are overlooked if you like the person. I do not mean sins like fornication, adultery or pornography. I mean “respectable” sins: pride, domineering, and such.

In conjunction with the aforementioned story of __, _ has been slandered for “taking 10 months of support”. Meanwhile, other missionaries who were in the same boat due to COVID and doing the work were never accused of the same. Even those who were able to come back to the States. Why? Because they were still “in”.

In addition to this, we can go back to when Chris Gardner was on a medical furlough due to his son, and as he was here, started a church in Acworth. No, he was not a member of VBM, but he was a member of the church, and it was known what he was doing. But this never gets mentioned.

You have yourself admitted multiple times that if you don’t like someone then they can do no right. But if you like them then they can do no wrong. You often say this to make the point of how wrong it is, but the fact is, though you know the wrongness of it with your mouth; your actions and attitudes towards others show that you practice it.

[In some ways, I saw this with Mark. After our trip in 2014, Mark was not entirely in Austin's good graces. When we first split from the Tolsons in 2016, the first question implied that he was worried because he had two families coming to Dalian and didn't want them to get hurt. His exact words on why we needed to talk were, ”I have two more families… if the others can go to Mark or not and why?”. That was July 2016. In December 2016, the script flipped. Every time we would try to defend ourselves or explain the situation, Austin would shut us down and imply that it was all our fault. He insinuated as Mark did, we didn't want to work hard at the language (this was not factual — we had a language learning schedule more difficult than anyone else had had on the team until that point). Austin told us, as Mark also said, every one of our issues was due to culture shock and then he would share a story that didn't relate to us about culture shock from Peru. Austin's dealing with us at that meeting emboldened Mark, who became even more controlling with the next two families. He told them where they could or could not live. He made their language school time even harder. I could share more about what happened after we left Dalian, but I hope you talk with the De Los Reyes family about their time in China.]

It is much like this past Friday class in which you said “Yeah. I’ve got a pride problem. But at least I admit it.” You “admit” it. But you are never remorseful or repentant about it.

False apologies, gaslighting and manipulation 

We manipulate people to become missionaries. We learn to manipulate to get people to do what we want through pretending.  For the positive side, everything is about giving pats on the back to people to get them to do more. The system then produces a group of man-pleasers. Everything is based on one thing: make jefe like you. Because, again, as you have said yourself in the past, if you like them and think they like you then you can do no wrong. If you thinks they don’t like you, you don’t like them and they can do no right.  In summary, the path to the top runs through whether or not leadership likes you.

On the negative side, the fault is always the other person. This is becoming increasingly clear as people who have not left the faith, nor fallen into sin have resigned the board. The reasons why they left, “They isolated themselves.” “They talked to the wrong people”. However, their reasoning are these same reasons: similar, if not the same, patterns of sin committed by leadership. These things are brought up again and again but somehow, it is always their fault. When seeking counsel about something you feel is off, you are told  that it is just you. You’re bitter. You didn’t really understand. You’re told you are too sensitive.  This is textbook gaslighting and manipulation.

This not only happens on the board, but also in the church. On more than one occasion, stories are given how you “apologize” about something “you didn’t even do” so that you can “kiss butts” and keep everyone happy. (i.e. This happened with a deacon recently. He went to you about how the overflow wasn’t set up right. You said you “apologized” by telling him sorry. But the deacon knew it wasn’t enough. Something needed to be done. After recounting this story, you then said how he knew this particular deacon was just afraid of COVID (slander); and how you knew a lot more about COVID than this deacon did.)

[Lies would also fall under this category. As missionaries with VBM, leadership teaches how to lie to churches to gain support. Leadership taught us how to cleverly answer questions that made it seem like we completely agreed with them when the truth was that we were deceptive. Jeff told us that we should lie on a form about Crystal’s and Evie’s time in the hospital. Crystal and Evie had been hospitalized in January in China for pneumonia. After they recovered, we had to leave the country to renew our visas, and we were concerned because there was extra paperwork that asked whether or not anyone had been hospitalized recently with COVID symptoms. We mentioned this to Jeff as a prayer request and he told us to lie on the form and check the box that said they had not been hospitalized. After we had resigned from VBM in April 2021, Crystal had a phone conversation with a lady in leadership at VBM about some of the training center students Crystal was discipling. Crystal: I asked her how I should tell the girls that we could no longer meet, although I wanted to. Her response was, “You need to tell them that since you are no longer with Vision, that you don’t have time anymore to study with them.” I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable saying that since it wasn’t true and desired to continue studying with them. She replied, “Well, what do you think you should tell them?” I said, “That **** (I don’t feel comfortable mentioning her identity) didn’t think it was a good idea that we continued our discipleship relationship because we are no longer with Vision.” She replied, “Well, that would throw me under the bus.” I told her, “But that’s the truth. I can’t lie to them.”

Those who have been abused in various ways (outside of VBM) are told that they are the problem. Crystal: AG has said on several occasions that “all kids have been messed with” (implying sexual abuse) and that they just need to forgive and forget. Last fall (2020), in a Friday class, when talking about “getting over your problems and moving on,” he said, “I was molested by (I can’t recall his name, but he named his abuser by first and last name) when I was a little boy at church for a few years. I still talk to the old man. He’s still alive. I don’t hold it against him. I forgave him and moved on. You have to forgive and move on, too.” The way that he speaks of these things doesn’t quite sit well with me. How can someone be so emotionally disconnected from such a traumatizing situation as sexual abuse and brush it off as just a small event that happened? He mentioned in Friday classes and missionary meetings that we “hold on to these things that happened to you when you were kids, but you just need to learn to get over it.” The way these things are brushed over and simplified is troubling.]

Corrupt Communication

Ephesians 4:29  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

I am not sure where to put all this, but this seems to fit the overall theme of what goes on. There is a lot of talk that goes on in the meetings that is corrupt and wrong. One subject that has come up is that of modesty. You graphically describe women’s bodies in what they wear. The fact is that these things should not be talked about in mixed company. It is not your business what my or anyone’s wife or daughter wears. And one of our core tenets is that our board has no rules about these matters.

[This is unrelated, but I also find disturbing is that when modesty is brought up it is always and implied that women are responsible for the lust of men. “Don’t dress this way because you make men lust.” But the converse, “Men you need to get your lust under control.” is practically non-existent.]

[Crystal: The way that AG has spoken of women’s bodies over the years has been disturbing. I remember sitting in Jefe’s office one day after church, along with the other training center students and missionaries. A church member’s young daughter walked in to say hi to him and get candy from him (all of the church kids went to his desk after church to get candy). This girl must have been 11 or 12 years old. She was wearing snug jeans. When she walked out, AG commented, “Bill (I won’t use his real name to protect his identity, but he was referring to the girl’s dad) had better be careful with her and the way he lets her dress. Those jeans are hugging her little backside, and she’s going to have all kinds of guys all over her if he isn’t careful.” I remember just thinking how off it was that he noticed a little girl’s backside and felt comfortable enough to say something about her body in a room full of people. Throughout my years as both a training center student and eventually a missionary wife, I have heard countless rants about women’s bodies and clothing. He would describe in detail what (according to him) goes through a man’s mind when he sees a woman. “Every guy is a pervert whether he wants to admit it or not,” he’d say. He would justify his excessive explanations by saying that he was “just being honest” and that “no one else is going to tell all of you ladies what really goes through our minds when we look at your bodies.” Words like “breasts,” “backside,” “p**** hair,” “p****,” “v*****,” “sex,” “masturbation” are all words that he frequently said, in mixed company, and with teenagers and sometimes kids present. His lack of discretion was troubling. “You need to teach your daughters that, to men, they are sex objects.”, he’d frequently say. “Men are geared to want to look and touch a woman’s body, so they need to learn to dress right,” he’d say. “Women don’t think men would want to look at their backside or breasts, but guys do look and like it. Guys are wired totally different than a girl.” (These are direct quotes from AG that are documented in Friday class or missionary meeting notes that are distributed to all of the missionaries by the note taker.) To reprimand us wives when he didn’t feel like we were sleeping with our husbands enough or that we had too many excuses, he’d tell stories of how his wife took care of him in bed and how we needed to be like her. More than once, he’s told the story of Betty (his wife) having sex with him the day she got out of the hospital after her hysterectomy. “If she can do that, then you ladies have no excuse not to have sex with your husband.” He had frequently told the story of Betty wearing shorts when they were dating that were so short that he could see her p**** hair poking out of them. I never understood why he’d share that story. But AG had no business speaking so graphically to anyone, especially a room full of young adults and teenagers. During Friday classes and missionary meetings, he has frequently told the men that they need to wake their wives up in the middle of the night to have sex with them when he felt the need. He’d explain that he does this to his wife, and she joyfully submits and that our wives needed to do the same. He had told a story to a room full of students and missionaries about Betty making herself a shirt when they were dating. When he saw her in it, she leaned over and kissed him, and he could see straight down her shirt. AG told her that she needed to change her shirt right then, or he’d r*** her. He’d explain how heartbroken she was because, after all, she made the shirt.]

[Another way in which Austin used corrupt communication was about children with special needs. As you might expect, this especially hit us, but we also know of others who have children with special needs on the board. When we realized something was wrong with our daughter, Mark was doing a sermon series on child training in China. He met with me so we could have special lessons to learn how to train my children. During this first lesson, I asked if Mark knew where to find a child psychologist because something wasn’t right. He just chuckled and brushed it off. In his mind, it wasn’t that our daughter had special issues, but that our parenting was the problem.

After our daughter’s autism diagnosis, we returned to the States sooner than expected. We did not know what the future held or how these new needs would affect our lives. During the first service we were back, he had praised us and had the church vote to give us money to help. After the service, we went to the office, where he scolded me for mentioning my daughter’s special needs. To help explain to Jeff and help him understand our situation, I sent him a video with the kinds of behavior that we were dealing with. Jeff told me that I shouldn’t watch that kind of stuff because by doing so, we would just see those things in our daughter. Before we left for furlough, Austin told me nothing was wrong with my daughter. Once again, in one of those Friday night meetings, he talked about how he didn’t believe in those alphabet diseases, and we all just needed to be better parents. If I remember correctly, a family there just received an autism diagnosis on their daughter.]

This speech lately has been spilling over into services. My five year doesn’t need to hear about a woman in a thong with her breast hanging out in a Sunday evening service. These PG-13 services talking about how everyone is having sex with everyone needs to be toned down. “I’m just telling the truth” and “being blunt” is no excuse. Neither is “the Bible is an x-rated book”.

To be completely honest, there is so much that could be added here. The fixation on “being great” and the “best”. How achievement and success are the way in which we judge and have become the goal. The divide that exists between the board and the church. The second-class feeling that many church members have because we elevate missionaries to an unhealthy level. (I believe this falls under the doctrine of the Nicolaitans in Revelation 2:15) The way when people use people then when they leave we don’t really care because “we will just get 5 more to replace them.” The silent treatment that is given to those who leave. Loyalty as the ultimate test. The complete lack of confidentiality when you mention things from “counseling” in class or amongst the “inner” circle. The twisting of Scripture that is done in the name of world evangelism that if anyone else did the same, you would condemn them in a tirade about bad preaching. That is enough for now,  I will stop here.

[I want to point out the utter lack of confidentiality that is present in the board. This lack of privacy is not only an ethical problem, but I believe a legal one. In 2014, Austin blasted one missionary's marital problems to the team, including details of their intimate lives. The problems were in reference to the frequency in which this missionary couple were intimate. These issues were shared with AG in confidence but he shared them with the whole team to “teach a lesson”.  Austin does not confine these breaches of confidentiality only to include matters on the team. Church members who came for counseling had their issues shared repeatedly, and similarly to others, he included details about their intimacy. When one missionary's wife was caught in an affair, the details of how and what she was doing were broadcast in a video messaging group. Even in recent months, it has been brought to our attention that one of the very leaders in VBM told another missionary that we shouldn't be listened to because we had many marriage problems. First of all, I had not had a single conversation with this leader about my marriage. Secondly, even if I had shared with him in seeking advice, he had no business sharing that; and Thirdly, please see ad hominem for an explanation on why that is a bogus way to dismiss people's concerns.

I am not at liberty to give all these details because the story is not wholly ours to tell. I want to simplify it, though. Crystal and I were convinced by AG to share details of another couple we were close to. He convinced us that he was only asking so that he knew how to better help this couple. Thinking we were helping them and trusting AG when he gave us assurance that he would not mention us nor share these details with the couple or anyone else, we shared with him. AG’s assurance that he would not share these details with this couple or anyone else was a complete lie. Austin told a missionary on the team these details and that missionary confronted the couple with all the details we had shared with AG. Because he breached confidentiality, it broke our friendship that took five years to restore.]

The whole point is this isn’t right. It is sin. And again, this sin isn’t just one or two incidences; it is a continual pattern or bullying, manipulation and abuse. It is the opposite of what leadership is told to be in Scripture. It is anti-grace and therefore anti-gospel.

Do not use or even think “this is just the devil attacking”. “It’s spiritual warfare”. “Don’t bring up this stuff because we aren’t fighting flesh and blood”. “We are trying to do something, and you are just being used as a tool of Satan”. I think that last one is the foundation of the problem. Everything has become so much about doing and not about being. I remember when this wasn’t the case. I remember when we at least said we were so concerned about the be level. I remember when it all was hitting us that God is more concerned about who we were than what we did. That has all seemed to have slipped away.

We are commanded in Scripture that if a man is overtaken in a fault, to restore such an one in the spirit of meekness. (Galatians 6:1) This is our goal. We want to see repentance and restoration. We want things to be aligned to the Gospel. We want to see a board that does not create an environment that wrecks marriages and friendships. A board that does not pit ourselves in competition and comparison with one another. A board that can find its identity in the One who saved us, not in what is accomplished.

The overwhelming emotion we have is not anger, it is pity. Pity that our identities cannot rest firmly in Christ because our worth is found in what we do. Pity that, for some reason, you feel like or seem that you have to prove something to someone to find your own worth. You cannot be content, you cannot rest. Post-Covid, this franticness and discontent have only accelerated and everyone is feeling it. Pity that you cannot rest in God’s timing, but have to force doors open.

What then do we hope to see? As I said, we want repentance and is is not an unbiblical request. Not privately to us so you can save your image. It needs to be specific and public. I would dare say even to the church because I’m sure the church has felt the same. You need to apologize to __, _, __, ___, __ and __ for how you have behaved towards them. Not just in admitting what you did, but also in how you have talked about and treated them in the process and after. You need to reflect because you need to tell the team how you have operated and how wrong and sinful it is.

The apology however is just the beginning. I think public acknowledgment is only an indication that things are going in the right direction. There also needs to be change. Change in how we talk about other missionaries and pastors. Change in thinking that we are the ones doing anything and doing it right. Change in how we conduct our classes and retreats. Change in how we view success. Change in how Vision Baptist Church is neglected for the sake of the board and the training center. This kind of change won’t be easy and I don’t expect it overnight because it is a fundamental change in how you lead. But if you are trying and it is seen, I’m sure that grace would be extended in the trying. [Emphasis added]

If you want to meet about all this, I am willing to do so. But you need to know, if you do, I will want the deacons of the church present and will not meet without them present. I will also use and bring up the testimonies of others in this meeting to establish these patterns. Sadly, I have learned the hard way that this is necessary.

We want the best. We want to see Christ magnified and His fame spread across this world. We hope that we can truly be not just a Gospel preaching board, but a Gospel living one as well.

For God’s Glory Alone,

"Bryan"