"Chance"

September 3, 2021

To Whom It May Concern,

The purpose of this letter is to explain why I felt it necessary to include my name on the written statement that was published a few weeks ago by former VBM missionaries and others who have been under Austin Gardner’s influence in the past. Although I was never formally a part of VBM, there was a time from 2009 to 2013 that I was encouraged by my pastor at the time to spend time with and learn from Austin Gardner. I vividly remember the first time I met Austin, and I clearly recall sensing that there was something off-putting about his spirit. It was in that first meeting with him that I heard him say something that he would continue to repeat often: “If you shot 90 percent of the world’s missionaries, you would be doing the world a favor.” This greatly bothered me, as it is obviously a statement rooted in pride. A few months later, after having attended several of Austin’s classes and continuing to sense a spirit of pride and superiority, I confided in an older, seasoned missionary and expressed my concerns with Austin’s statement about the world being better if 90 percent of the missionaries were shot. Not long after I spoke with that man, I felt that I needed to speak with Austin to both apologize for not going to him first, and also to raise my concern about the proud spirit that I sensed. I fully expected Austin to respond in a gracious manner, but his response was the complete opposite. I told him, “This statement you continue to make- that if you shot 50 percent of the world’s missionaries you would be doing the world a favor- is such an arrogant, wrong thing to say.” Austin responded, “I never said that.” To which I insisted that he had in fact said that repeatedly. He then responded, “I said if you shot 90 percent, not 50 percent. And I stand by that. But if you’re going to attack me, at least don’t misquote me.” He then lambasted me for not going to him first, and literally turned his back and stormed away.

As a young man who was being told by people that I trusted at the time that Austin Gardner was the absolute best example for me to follow and learn from, I doubted myself, and eventually concluded that I was the problem. So I continued attending the classes at Vision, convinced that doing so would make me a better missionary. But I continued to sense a spirit of pride, not only in Austin, but in those who were his followers. I was a part of an email ring with the Vision missionaries, in which we would notify everyone in that ring of potential churches to contact for scheduling meetings for deputation. On one occasion, one of the Vision missionaries emailed us saying, “Was just in a meeting with a guy who has been raising support for nearly 3 years. Why do they let losers like this become missionaries?” I responded by saying that to call someone a loser is not a Christ-like spirit, and immediately I was attacked by several other guys who reminded me that I was not even a Vision missionary.

I eventually decided to part ways with Austin and VBM. I never announced that decision, and I even had moments in which I still doubted myself, wondering if I was just making too big of a deal out of the things I observed. During that time, several of my best friends joined Vision Baptist Missions. I always wondered why they didn’t see the things I was seeing. But I never brought it up to them. My thought was, “To each his own.” But almost 2 years ago, my dear friend Chris Waye called me and asked me a very straightforward question: “'Chance', have you ever sensed something ‘off’ with Austin Gardner?” For the next 3 hours, Chris described to me his family’s experience with Austin Gardner, and the hurt that they were experiencing. He also listened as I described my experiences. In the subsequent months, I walked with Chris through his painful experience of finally deciding to leave VBM, and I learned that all of my concerns from years before were indeed legitimate concerns. And Chris is not my only friend who has decided to leave VBM, and who has had to endure the unnecessary pain that goes along with leaving a toxic environment.

I included my name on that statement because I believe my story speaks to the fact that it is not only “insiders” who have experienced Austin’s narcissism, manipulation, and anger. Although I was never close enough to Austin to experience the deep pain and trauma that others have had, I do wish to stand with those who experienced such pain and trauma. My prayer is that all of those who have been hurt by Austin will find healing, and that Austin will come to a place of sincere humility that will lead to confession and repentance.

In Christ,

"Chance"