Trent Excusing Austin While Victim-Blaming
- Trent defends the terrible way they handled Heather by saying "we sent an offering"
- Trent defends Austin’s apology that was non-specific, sympathy-garnering, and contradictory to his actions and his words to others.
- Instead of acknowledging the patterns of Austin’s empty apologies (rather than just checking off the "he apologized" box), Trent puts it back on the sender to talk to Austin.
- Trent then goes on the offense toward Philip's apology, even though Philip’s apology reveals an accidental mistake and quick efforts to correct it.
- Just saying "no one can tell" is a giant cop-out. Except that is what he did about Philip's apology.
- Then, he is all serious about Philip's "true reconciliation" with the family, while not acknowledging that Austin’s apology spam was not true reconciliation.
- More victim blaming by saying, ‘some have made it clear that there is nothing Austin can do to ever receive their forgiveness’ — which has no basis. I know of no one who isn't fully willing to forgive, yet there are no signs of true repentance from Austin.
Heather notes on February 10, 2023, in the comments under this post in the Dear Vision Baptist FB page:
FYI, per the records of my former mission agency, as well as the records from my former sending church, NO offering was received from Vision during that time. There is no record of any money being sent to myself on behalf of VBM or VBC, though I'm glad it assuaged their consciences to say such so they could feel better about the disaster I was in.
Email thread below.
1. The Email To Trent:
Subject: Repentance
On Tue, Oct 5, 2021 at 8:29 PM [Redacted] wrote:
Bro. Trent:
I recognize that you are in a difficult position relative to the issues surrounding Bro. Gardner, and I’m praying for God to give you wisdom. Consider this note as simply from a friend.
As I’m sure you are aware, Philip and Lori received a written apology from Austin Gardner. As I listened to it, I thought, “Maybe he is finally facing the truth and is actually repentant.” Then I looked closer.
His wording acknowledged an ugly picture: “horrible filthy pride,” “who I am and I hate what I see,” “sinned against God and…,” “pride was so great,” “really want to be a different man,” “all this wickedness in me,” “failed so many,” etc.
He also made seemingly humble comments that subtly elicit sympathy: “didn’t even see what I was doing,” “God had to bring me this low,” “I will travel to you,” “I know you will not believe,” “long time to prove,” “I can’t sleep,” “forgive me if you can.”
Yet, with all that self-deprecation and all those ingratiating phrases, he didn’t acknowledge any specific behavior—not one.
Did you know that basically the same generically worded apology was sent individually to multiple individuals?
Since he didn't apologize to Philip for:
- teaching and modeling manipulative leadership;
- for ignoring previous confrontations by well-intentioned missionaries;
- for responding Philip’s face-to-face confrontation to him last year by turning it back on him with belittling criticism, deflection and marginalization;
I wonder... did he apologize to Heather Marks for:
- blaming her amidst her husband's addictions and brutality;
- for lying in his recommendation of her husband after their move from Vision;
- for propagating the ungodly views of women and their roles in his training, which subjected women to mistreatment by their Vision-trained husbands;
- for not coming to her aid when she was stranded in Japan?
Has he, in fact, acknowledged any specific behavior to any individual that was harmed by it? Or has he, instead, repeated his long-standing pattern of supposed humility and skillful garnering of sympathy when backed into a corner?
If he doesn’t feel backed into a corner, he responds differently. As I recall, his initial response to Becky’s formal complaint in 2004 was total denial, ridicule and ostracizing of the Earnharts, which is the same response cited by many who had different criticisms. Even in 2021—just during the past two months—his response was total denial and vowing to, once he was found innocent, re-enter ministry. But when the volume of corroborating accusations were undeniable, he became apologetic. Was it because he finally acknowledged his deeds, or was it because he had no other choice?
His statements that he won’t “seek to” return to ministry "until…” nor “seek to” return to VBM both imply an open door for some loyalist to invite him to return. With the magnitude of and the time covered by these accusations, would it not be prudent for him to step down from leadership permanently?
We can’t always discern a man’s heart, and if a man apologizes, well…? Yet women’s shelters are full of bruised women who returned time and again to abusive husbands who were great apologizers.
If Austin Gardner feels as wicked as he claims, and if he regrets what he has been made to realize, I would expect to see him beating a path to individuals in order to acknowledge his specific behaviors that caused them harm, to assure them that he is learning better, to ask if there is any restoration he can make. He needs to address the VBM leadership team and acknowledge teachings of his that they should cast away, acknowledge behaviors that they should not replicate, and address the entire missionary team in the same way.
Only God knows the heart, but there are outward indicators. Your church—and especially you as pastor—has the unenviable responsibility to judge those indicators in order to maintain purity and protect the church. We know that the biblical purpose of church discipline is restoration; but restoration into fellowship of someone who is not truly repentant could cause as much harm to the Vision church body as never exposing the sin at all.
What would happen if you informed Austin Gardner that, relative to church discipline, you had advised the church to consider explicit acknowledgments in his apologies to individuals to be an indicator of sincere repentance? And what would happen if he declined to make those specific acknowledgments?
2. Trent's Reply:
From: Trent Cornwell Date: October 5, 2021 at 10:23:39 PM CDT Subject: Re: Repentance
[Redacted],
I sincerely do appreciate that you have taken the time to write. As you have said we are in a difficult situation with so many people having so many different thoughts about the path forward. I also recognize you are in a difficult place having a son and his family who have been hurt.
It is not my desire to negate my responsibility to properly judge the situation. Your perspective on the situation should be shared with Austin Gardner. There are accusations that you mentioned that he addressed on Sunday night. For example, even though Heather had been out of a different church and mission board for a few years when we Austin learned of her situation in Japan an offering was taken up and sent. I recognize there was so much more I could have done for Heather and will be taking steps to help identify patterns of addiction in others so that I personally will be able to better serve those in our church who are trapped in harmful relationships.
I share this information to say that there may be some information that would be helpful. Through communication with Austin Gardner you might be able to inform him of his need to be specific in his apologies or he might be able to share information in the areas he does not believe he has failed.
According to the statements you shared from the email to Philip it seems as if people could read it as a categorical apology of all wrongdoing. Others may have a different opinion of the value of this apology. It does not make their opinion right and your's wrong. It just means that in some matters it is very difficult to come to a full agreement. There is no scale in which I can weigh the apology and determine if it is of sufficient weight.
Philip posted an email on his website that told of [redacted]. This was not information she wanted made public. Her husband thought he was only sharing it with a team of missionaries. It was read by thousands. I asked Philip to remove it. It took him a day to do so. Her husband asked him to remove it. His response was short. I was with this family on the mission field a couple weeks ago. She is still hurting from this. I personally do not think Philip's apology was all that it should have been. He was slow to respond and short in his communication with them. I pray that he will address this and work to truly reconcile with the family. Even though I was the pastor of Philip, the missionary wife he hurt, and Bro. Austin there are areas that I need to pray that God will bring reconciliation. I can not demand that she forgive, I cannot demand that Philip be genuinely remorseful for the pain he caused. These are matters of the heart.
My encouragement to Austin Gardner has been to genuinely seek reconciliation with all believers he has offended. This is not in respect to Philip, but some have made it clear that there is nothing Austin Gardner can do to ever receive their forgiveness. I know this is not the case for Philip and Lori. I believe you have information that should be shared with Austin. I would say it would be a good response from Philip.
Simply and Sincerely, Trent
3. Re: Trent
Date: October 6, 2021 at 10:04:01 AM CDT To: Trent Cornwell
Bro. Trent:
I am not interested in giving a Austin Gardner tips on how to apologize convincingly. The tips were for you – they were observations. Out of the abundance of his heart, he has spoken.
Your judgment is that Philip's apology - for inadvertently sharing a private story and removing it when notified – was inadequate; yet for Austin's apology - for perpetrating decades of ungodly ministry habits/training and ignoring numerous confrontations about it - "there is no scale in which (you) can weigh" it for sufficiency.
It is also interesting to me that Austin can be specific in publicly clearing up minor mis-accusations, but offers only general state-of-being apologies for the heavy accurate ones. That tactic causes just enough confusion to serve him, and it once again reveals his heart.
I prayed for you this morning.
4. Re: Trent
On Wed, Oct 6, 2021 at 2:17 PM [Redacted] wrote:
This?
5. Trent:
On Oct 6, 2021, at 1:48 PM, Trent Cornwell wrote:
Thank you. I did not realize this. I should not have given this as an example of how measuring someone’s sincerity can be difficult by email.
After reading your response I see that I did a poor job of communicating my thoughts to you. By no means do you I think you should give Austin tips on how to apologize.
I do hope everyone who receives an apology will respond in a manner that would help him see he is not addressing their concerns.
God bless you.
Trent
6. Re: Trent
Date: October 6, 2021 at 2:11:33 PM CDT To: Trent Cornwell
Trent, maybe they will, but they probably won’t.
The point is, if he were truly repentant, would he need to be prompted?